Posted on 21 December 2012, 23:43

Men think about sex every seven seconds, as the old saying goes, so at first blush Alain de Botton’s book, published earlier this year, looks like it’s pushing for some sort of Guinness world record.

But his contention in How to Think More About Sex is that we don’t give enough quality reflection to this fundamental human drive, with its effortless power to topple our rational priorities.

Although sex is everywhere in our culture, it remains well hidden. As de Botton says: ‘Most of what we are sexually remains impossible to communicate with anyone whom we would want to think well of us. Men and women in love will instinctively hold back from sharing more than a fraction of their desires out of a fear, usually accurate, of generating intolerable disgust in their partners.’

De Botton thinks through the pleasures and problems of sex with a disarming openness that encourages you to be honest at least with yourself. He covers love, lust, rejection, porn, loneliness, adultery and the erotic, and asks left-of-field questions such as ‘Can sexiness be profound?’

Unexpectedly, he gives kudos to religions for their serious take on sex and says they have basically got it right. ‘Only religions see it as something potentially dangerous and needing to be guarded against.’

Exercise the sexiest organ in your body (the one between your ears) with this thoughtful book.